Coaches do not have all the answers. If they say they do, they probably won’t be able to help you very much.

It’s been a long time since my last blog post and the world has changed immensely since then.

I’m going to come clean. I had a post written and ready to go live on Nov. 9th. But Trump had become president the night before and it  immediately felt like the things I had to say were so small in comparison to what had just happened, would happen, and were about to happen.

I started and completed another post a few weeks later, and then in December, I found out I was pregnant with my second kiddo! It was an exciting and love-filled surprise and the answer to a prayer for my husband and me.

And…it immediately felt like the things I had to say were so small in comparison to what had just happened, would happen, and were about to happen.

I hit pause again.

I looked away for several months, convincing myself that what I was thinking and feeling about coaching (my passion!) somehow mattered less because other things mattered more.

Hit the brakes.

Even just writing that sentence made my muscles twitch. My fingers were fighting me with every letter typed. But if I’m being honest, that is where I was—frozen in my own self-doubt. To make matters worse, I felt shameful that as coach myself, I was having such a hard time unblocking myself and sharing my message. Isn’t this exactly the issue that I’m supposed to help others with? How can I help anyone if I haven’t figured this out perfectly for myself?

For reals, hit the breaks.

Welcome to the rabbit hole. Actually, it wasn’t so much a hole, as it was a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo. I had fully moved in, hired a contractor, and remodeled the place. My thinking had again, failed me, and I was in the annoyingly comfortable echo chamber of thinking my “relevance” had anything to do with my truth.

I had momentarily forgotten that what makes me a good coach is (definitely) not that I have life figured out and can break “success at life” it into five easy steps. What makes me a good coach is my ability to be vulnerable and thereby see it in others. My ability to ask the right questions and be curious so my clients can connect the dots and embrace their creativity.  It is my willingness to be present with another human being as she makes her way out of her own cozy rabbit hole/condo/airbnb.

No one has it all figured out. Behind the person who is seemingly “so put together all the time,” is a human being who has fears, goals, worries, and dreams. The danger of being a “helping professional,” such as a therapist, teacher, coach, or doctor, is that there is a false expectation that these people should have all, or at least most of the answers. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Ask any of them. And if they say they have all the answers, they’re probably not going to be able to help you much at all.

This is my truth. I’m a coach who loves my life but it isn’t perfect all the time.  I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I have a lot of helpful questions. I have fears and insecurities like everyone else and I want more in life too. This drive is what helps me understand with empathy, how hard it can be to break out of the routine and create something different, and way better than “good enough for now.”

So here’s to being vulnerable. Here’s to being real. Here’s to taking a step towards the truth.